Miley Cyrus: Party in my Pants Today

I have a really fucking horrible habit of singing disgraceful lyrics to the tune of popular music, (my boyfriend and I do it all the time, because we’re horrible… horribly awesome).

So I spent most of my day at work reworking some lyrics for lil’ ol Miley. They are quite enjoyable, and most def NSFW.

I jumped off a plane at LAX, with a cum stained cardigan
Welcome to the land of fame & sex, whoa look at all these men
Jumped on a dick, no this isn’t my first time
Look to my right, see some coke think I’ll do a line

This is all so crazy, guys gunna make me have his baby

My tummy’s turnin’ and I’m feelin’ kinda mornin’ sick
Too much pressure and I’m nervous
That’s when the doctor man put in a dilator

And the aspirator was on
And the aspirator was on
And the aspirator was on

So I put my legs up, I’m sayin’ so long
The fetuses fly away
I’m noddin’ my head like “yeah”
Movin’ my hips like “yeah”

Got my legs up, what could go wrong?
And now I’m gunna be okay
YEAH! Aborting my baby today!
YEAH! Aborting my baby today!

Get to the club in my taxi cab
Everybody’s lookin’ at me now
Like “who’s that slut covered in nut”
I bet she’ll take it in the brown

So hard with my girls not around me
It’s definitely not a gang bang party
Cause all I see are giant dildos
Just like backstage on my TV show

My nipple’s hardin and I’m feelin’ kinda horny
Too much talking can get boring
That’s when my manager dropped my skanky pants

And my vibrator was on
And my vibrator was on
And my vibrator was on

So I put my hands up, cuff em’ to the bed
My inhibitions fly away
Rubbin’ my clit like “yeah”
Cum on my tits like “yeah”

Got my hands cuffed, they’re on the headboard
For the fifth time today
YEAH! C’mon eat my Miley buffet!
YEAH! C’mon it’s a Cyrus buffet!

Feel like hoppin’ on a cock, on a cock
My dad’s is hard as a rock, as a rock
Something stops me every time, every time
The entire country should know I’m lying

So I put my head down, I’m blowing my dad
His pubes are gettin’ in my way
Flossin’ my teeth like “DAD”
Lickin’ my lips like “DAD”

Got my head down, I’m blowing my dad
And now I think he’s gonna spray
YEAH! I hope he cums on my face!
YEAH! I hope he cums on my face!!!

…And this is why I am shocked that I have friends. Thank you.

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