August 30th, 2010
I feel like I’m slowly forgetting myself. Err… the older versions of me. I get so distracted these days with work and goals and day dreaming that it’s hard to think about the past without degrading it into some worthless time spent waiting for today. I don’t like that. It seems senseless because tomorrow today could be that same worthless time. I’d like to spend it more memorably.
Anyway, here are the next 2 entires from my first journal. Remember to look for the tiny heart on each spread, they’re on almost every one, some pics were taken before I got the idea.
“every day i wake up at 3 in the morning and take a bus downtown to see the latest works of Samuel Fredricks. i’m not quite sure what compels me to do so, as i’ve seen it every day for three years, but i guess decomposition has always partially controlled me. i’ve taken 1095 polaroids of the same scene from 1095 different angles. Read the rest of this entry »
Posted in Journal 1: Niagara Falls | 1 Comment »
July 27th, 2010
I’ve chosen to take on a great project. By great I mean incredibly self involved. I will be posting the entire contents of my creative journals from 2004 on. What does this mean? It means a max of 2 pages a day, these are some beefy fucking books.
Basically, I’ll post a picture of the page, whatever words I’ve written on it, and then I’ll criticize the shit out of it. Then, you as a reader can comment and criticize it as well. Then I can cry myself to sleep after I eat my feelings. My feelings are usually delicious and from Jack in the Box. 2 feelings for $0.99. Let’s get on it, shall we?
This was my first official journal where I decided to mix paper layouts with text, lyrics, useless dribble, my own teenage angst, and sometimes I got my own fluids on it… just spit and drool.
Niagara Falls still flows on New Years.
Read the rest of this entry »
Taggables: creative journal, get serious asshole, lauren.com, lauren.com journal, my feelings are tacos, niagara falls still flows on new years, ohsuplauren, paper journal
Tags: creative journal, get serious asshole, lauren.com, lauren.com journal, my feelings are tacos, niagara falls still flows on new years, ohsuplauren, paper journal
Posted in Journal 1: Niagara Falls | 1 Comment »
June 30th, 2010
In recent news in Chandler, my hometown and current city of residence, a dozen fucking idiots didn’t show up to work and got fired, (SUPRISE!).
Basically, 12 Pei Wei employees didn’t go into work so that they could go show the streets of AZ how stupid they think SB1070 is, (silly protesters, streets don’t have eyes). Then, when they came back in, Pei Wei wanted to show them how stupid they think their employees are by firing them. It’s called NO CALL NO SHOW, and it FUCKS EVERYONE who works that day. You deserve to be fired!
Most of them don’t regret ditching work to do something they wanted to do, (just like I don’t regret ditching work to watch Judge Mathis, sleep on my couch, or YouTube booty bounce videos). I bet they’ll regret ditching work AND walking in the SB1070 rally when Pei Wei hires a bunch of illegal immigrants in place of that dirty dozen.
In the meantime, the employees and a bunch of other retards, (would be way cooler if there were ACTUAL retards), are picketing and protesting outside of Pei Wei, which sort of works out for them I guess since they prefer doing that over working anyway…
Taggables: AZ Pei Wei, Chandler, Chandler AZ, lauren.com calls in when she rallies, lauren.com loves Judge Mathis, Pei Wei, Pei Wei Chandler, Sb1070
Tags: AZ Pei Wei, Chandler, Chandler AZ, lauren.com calls in when she rallies, lauren.com loves Judge Mathis, Pei Wei, Pei Wei Chandler, Sb1070
Posted in Fucking Retarded, Random | 6 Comments »
June 25th, 2010
iPhone 4. Phone calls like you’ve never seen before… with splotchy yellow globs of glass encased Steve Jobs urine.
iPhone 4. This changes everything… including your ability to hold a phone like a normal fucking human.
Don’t get me wrong, I am COMPLETELY biased. I’m an Android-loving, Google-promoting nerd. I’m not blind to Apple’s “innovations” or their ability to make any fucking idiot sorority girl look like they know something about technology. BUT I’m also a fan of another thing… shit that works.
So basically, Apple released a device that literally looks like it’s been dipped in piss, and then tells their die-hard fanboys/girls that it’s not working because they’re holding it like a phone…
YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO HOLD IT LIKE IT’S BEEN DIPPED IN PISS… duh.
For the record, I hold my Nexus One however the fuck I want to. I mostly use my hands, mostly.
Taggables: Android, Google, hold liek this, iPhone, iPhone 4, iPhone 4g, iPhone f4il, Nexus One, Steve Jobs urine
Tags: Android, Google, hold liek this, iPhone, iPhone 4, iPhone 4g, iPhone f4il, Nexus One, Steve Jobs urine
Posted in Do Not Want, Electronics, Things I Hate, Uber Nerd | 2 Comments »
March 16th, 2010
The feeling of 23 years of hard packed snot coming out of your face is the most disgusting feeling I have felt since the last time I sat on a toilet and the seat was up. Yes. Neti Pot usage is comparable only to water dipped ass. Fucking. Gross.
The intial feeling is that of drowning mixed with that horrible feeling you get when someone bops you in the nose. (Bops? Who am I?). It’s pretty awful, but then you remember you can breathe out of your mouth.
Then I started laughing, which caused bubbles and that was really fun to feel come jibbling out of my nose. If you’re into that sort of thing. (I feel like this is a good time to mention ‘feltcher,’ which is something I learned about last week from my dad, because my dad is gross. Go to www.urbandictionary.com for the definition NSFW. I’m sorry to be the one to expose you to that).
In the end, I coughed, gagged, made gross faces, and have the itchiest inner nostrils of my entire life, but I can breathe, so I guess that’s positive… except I could already do that.
So far… I fucking hate the Neti Pot, and I’m renaming it Booger Water Slide.
Taggables: booger water slide, feltcher, jibbling nose bubbles, lauren.com neti pot head, lauren.com neti pottin, Neti Pot Challenge!
Tags: booger water slide, feltcher, jibbling nose bubbles, lauren.com neti pot head, lauren.com neti pottin, Neti Pot Challenge!
Posted in Neti Pot Challenge! | 3 Comments »